Irving
Narrator / Babe Ciarlo (voice)
Javier
Giuseppe 'Gyp' Rosetti
Bobby Caffey
Mr. Crystal (voice)
Gavin the Hormone Monster (voice) / Gavin (voice) / Nick's Agent (voice)
Joe Oramas
Cash (uncredited)
Self - Narrator
Self
Paxton
Detective Sannogale
Sergio De Luca
Tom Donnelly
Spike (voice)
Eddie
Andre Washburn
Pete Marino
Jimmy
Dr. Francisco
Detective Torres
Mr. Studebaker
Fryburg
The Ex-Athlete
Hank Harris
